On July 28, 2019 my sweet son, Cole Callahan Heide left this earth. Cole was a genuine soul with a big loving heart and a philosophical mind that questioned his existence and refused to let him rest. He found peace and restoration in the natural world, especially while backpacking and orienteering with his comrade in Recovery, Billy. He found life’s purpose and his greatest loves in his children, Althea Rose (Allie) 7 and Elena Mae (Lainey Bug) 4, mother Jen Martella. He was a patient, loving father, instructive, kind, and protective. He continually reminded his children to be kind, polite, to respect and care for our planet, and to appreciate and be fascinated by all its creatures. All except spiders. Cole did not like spiders.

I tried to believe that my son would prevail against the odds. That he would not join the statistics. That he would fight his way to wellness in spite of the obstacles placed upon him. He fought it. He fought for wellness and hope. He fought for his children. He fought the hard fight for 17 of his 32 years. He fought the hardest the last 8 years for his children and for himself. Even though he was wrapped in the arms of those who fought with him, loved him, and surrounded him with all the support they could muster, he could not find his way to wellness.

It is easy at this time to find blame and injustice. It is easy to scream why do our laws punish those who are sick. Why is a person struggling with illness repeatedly punished and confined with hopelessness. He repeatedly sought out help in the mental health and recovery communities. Although many caring people in the medical and mental health fields tried to help, the availability is limited, the providers are overwhelmed, understaffed, and underfunded. The quality of care is at times questionable. The research is stymied.

There must be answers to this national health problem. Those answers must be found and made available to all. Our local Community has made great strides in providing support networks, but there is much more to do. We must continue to look to models of treatment success. We must increase funding for more Community support systems. Most importantly, the laws MUST change. If we continue to criminalize illness, slap the sick with stigma and despair, deny them dignity, remove hope, financially drain them and their families, the deaths will continue to mount. Senseless, preventable, heartbreaking deaths.

I have heard from many wonderful people that knew Cole or had family members or friends in Cole’s position. The resounding message is that we are losing some of the best in our population. We are not loosing the bad guys or the weak. We are loosing the fighters, the genuine, the brilliant, the caring, the big hearts, the radiant smiles. I am so very proud of my son because he was all that and more. He was my ‘Kolzer’ and he was the Daddy of Allie and Lainey.

Cole is survived by his children Allie and Lainey Heide, his mother, Joni Heide and partner Scott Minner, his Grandparents, Lon and Lauretta Heide, his Aunts and Uncles, Chris (Heide) and Larry Hammond, Bruce and Janet (Knowles) Heide, Linda (Heide) and Ron Shriner, Kelly (Heide) and Russell Richardson, Joe Heide and fiance’ Julie Crouch, and Cousins, Carrie Bright, Megan Brandt, Matt Hammond, Courtney Watson, Melissa McCormick, Jake Gray, Lindsey, Claire, and Reed Shriner, Beau, Olivia, and Sam Richardson, Sydney and Sara Heide, friends and co-workers.

Please join us on Cole’s Birthday weekend, September 28, 2019 at Prophetstown State Park, Coneflower shelter at 1PM. Mention the Cole Heide Celebration at the gate for entry. Food and drinks provided. RSVP to jlheide@comcast.net. If you have a story about Cole and if you are so inclined, please write it down and bring it with you or email me at jlheide@comcast.net. We would like to collect stories about Cole in a book for his young children so they may remember their Dad and have a glimpse into his childhood, his character, his values, his life, and his soul.